Ladies wake up
A must read.
My best friend Leah married the love of her life several years ago. They were perfect for each other. Theirs was what some of you may call genuine love. They met each other while Leah and I were in Campus. Her husband Ken, pursued her for over 6 months before she finally gave in, (I played a part in convincing her to give Ken a chance and that’s something that I’ll forever regret.) Their love was something that most envied and others looked up to. One look at them and you could tell that they were madly in love with each other. They were spotted everywhere together. After 2 yrs of dating Ken proposed, it was a magical moment, we laughed, we cried, aahh the kind of perfect love that you only see in movies. Introductions were done on either side of the families and Leah’s parents loved Ken just as his loved her.
After graduation, they got married and were blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Their relationship grew even stronger and then after a period of time, EVERYTHING CHANGED
PART 2
Let me 1st tell you ladies about Leah. Leah was a God fearing woman, she was extremely beautiful, the kind of beauty that had heads turning whenever she walked by. Sura na figure zote alipewa. Men lusted openly and shamelessly for her but she never for once even thought of cheating on Ken, I was her best friend so I knew. She was brought up in a strict upbringing. Her parents were staunch Christians, when Leah met Ken, she was a virgin. He’s the one to whom she lost her virginity, the only man who saw her nakedness. Her family was stable. They were rich, growing up she had everything but Leah remained humble
On top of her natural God-given beauty, Leah was intelligent, a woman with brains. By the time they had their baby boy, Leah was already having her own law firm, even as a lawyer, she was perfect. Ken himself was a successful accountant so money was never a problem.
Now, Leah my friend,was the kind of woman who never touched her husband’s phone, she had no reason to. Ken’s phone had no password and most of the time he had it laying carelessly in the house so it’s only fair that Leah never felt the need to check his phone because let’s face it ladies, which unfaithful man leaves his phone unattended and without a password to protect it? Other than this, he had Leah and their son on his profile pic in every media platform or outlet that you can think of, he never took his wedding ring off, he answered her calls whenever she called aaah, the perfect man. Even I who had sworn to never trust these 3 legged creatures started to think at some point that this particular one was different, a God sent, one that was specifically sent to restore women’s faith in men, HOW WRONG WAS I
PART 3
It started out with a change in his watsp profile photo, Leah and her son’s profile pic came down and its place was Ken and a colleague’s, a male colleague so no alarms went off on my bestie’s head, as a matter of fact, she loved how her husband looked in that pic, Did I mention that Ken was a handsome man? face ✔ height✔ built✔ yaani all the works. Other than the profile pic, nothing else changed.
The picture perfect family and the made for the movies love story all came crushing on a late Saturday evening. Ken was having an afternoon nap after having played during the better part of the morning with their son when his phone which was in the living room rang. Leah rushed to answer it (they answered each other’s phones, these two had no secrets between them, well, that’s what we all thought. ) She got to the phone a second late just as it stopped ringing. She decided to put it on silent mode so as to not wake Ken and tgeir son up. She was about to put it down when a message came in from the same unregistered number that had just called and it read “I know you warned me to never send a message juu ‘our wife’ anaeza ona but babe, yesterday’s quickie still got my kanyau aching for you😍😍😍. I can’t wait for more, love you.”
PART 4
For a moment she couldn’t believe it. The person must have mistaken Ken’s number for somebody else’s, she thought and as if to confirm her fears, another text came in,”Babe, kati yangu na mama Lennox, who is sweeter?😍😍.” This time any shred of doubt that had been in her mind was errased for Lennox was their son’s name.
Not trusting her own legs to support her, she sat down on the floor, her mind racing. She’d heard of men cheating on their wives but not even once had she thought that Ken would cheat on her, her Ken, her perfect Ken. She started going through his phone like a mad woman, checked his watsp messages, messanger,phone logs, his gallery etc but other than the texts from the unregistered number, there was no other sign of infidelity..Dude sure did clean up well.
Controlled by rage she stormed into the bedroom and woke him up with a slap on his face and before he could register whether this was some sort of a dream or not, another hotter slap landed on his face. “WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!” it was a high pitched scream followed by a push on his chest. By now he was fully awake na alikuwa ameshtuka yake yote.
“I’m not cheating on you, what are you talking about?” Ken lied, yaani Shaggy alipoimba ule wimbo we “it wasn’t me, it’s like the entire male species took notes.”
“Stop lying to me! Why are you cheating on me??!! What don’t I do for you? she demanded. He was about to deny it a second time when she threw his phone at him hitting his right arm in the process. “Read the messages, read them.” She commanded.
One look at the messages and he knew that he had been caught. There was no way he could lie his way out of this. He got down immediately on his knees right next to her.”Forgive me baby, please forgive me. I swear I can explain, I’ll stop, I’ll block her, she means nothing to me, please don’t leave me, I’ll die if you do, you are my everything, please forgive me baby, I’ll explain everything blah blah blah.” By this time he was already crying. He pleaded some more and she just stood there, broken, unable to move or say anything. Her heart was weeping, torn, betrayed.
PART 5
“Why Ken? Why? What don’t I do to you? I’m I not beautiful enough? Don’t I do my wifely duties? What does she have or do to you that I don’t? For how long has this been going on?” She wanted to know He tried to explain himself, saying that mara oh the devil had gotten into him, mara the lady had pushed herself on him, he admitted that the affair had been going on for 6 months and that he’d use protection everytime. He took his phone and dialled the number putting the call on loudspeaker. “Hi Babe!” came the lady’s voice.
“Listen Elsa, whatever we had is over! I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m married and I love my wife and son. You were a mistake! Don’t ever contact me again, umeskia?”
“Babe kwani what’s wrong? nimefanya nini? ama ‘our wife’ amesoma the texts I sent?” the bish asked (yaani hawa mpango wa kando huita their sponsors spouses’our wife’)
“DON’T YOU EVER CALL HER OUR WIFE! she’s a better woman than you, you cheap whore!” he was shouting, visibly shaken,whether it was out of anger or fear of being caught, Leah couldn’t tell.
“Cheap whore?? I’m a better woman than your wife 10 times otherwise why have you been cheating on her with me?” The so called Elsa retorted.
“Mjinga wewe, malaya!” He shouted and then hang up.
.”Baby please forgive me, please baby.. I’ll block her see.” He said and with that took his phone and blocked the number.
Leah stood up, saying nothing. Ken held on to her feet crying, ” please forgive me mama Lennox, please have mercy on me.” He was now lying flat on his tummy, his tears on her feet (who said men don’t shed tears 😕)
She moved away leaving him lying face down on the floor. She went to her son’s room. Lennox was still sleeping, she picked him up, took her phone and headed for the door.
Ken must have heard her open the door for he rushed to them and pleaded some more with her to not leave but her mind was made up. She left and minutes later, she was at my house. We lived next to each other.
PART 6
It was the loud voices inside my compound that got my attention. On getting out, I found Leah shouting at Ken to leave her alone, Lennox was crying, Ken pia alikuwa analia and he was bare foot, we were neighbours separated only by a wall, so this wasn’t that surprising even though it was a 1st. The moment Leah saw me she broke down. It’s a sight I’ll never forget. The Leah I knew was a strong woman, emotionally stable. In our 15yrs of friendship, I had only seen her breakdown once and that was at her grandma’s funeral so you can imagine how taken aback I was by the whole scenario.
Ken kept saying, ” Leah please let’s go back to our house and talk this through.”
“Ken niache,pigia malaya wako who is a better woman than me and tell her that she can come take my place.” She responded.
“Baby, ple…” He started but was stopped by a loud, “NIACHE!” she was almost hysterical. I took Lennox from her and she made for my door. Ken was about to follow her but I stopped him.” I dont know what’s going on but it’s best you leave. You can come back later.” I said firmly and without a word he turned and walked away.
When I got to the house, Leah was in my bedroom sobbing uncontrollably. I tried getting her to tell me what was going on but she couldn’t compose herself so I went back to the living room to give her time to calm down.
2hrs later with me checking on her from time to time, she came to the sitting room and that’s when she told me everything. By then a close friend of ours had also joined us and Lennox was fast asleep in my bed. We did our best to comfort her, told her that Ken cheating wasn’t a sign of anything wrong with her but everything wrong with him. She didn’t know what to do so she needed our advise, I was for the idea that she quit the marriage( I’m the type of woman who can’t stay with a man who cheats. you cheat, I quit, period, ujinga ya it rains everywhere sijui) but our other friend Gladys wasn’t for it. She talked of how all men cheat, mara it rains everywhere, mara oohhh forgive him as this is his 1st time ( whatever happened to the phrase “once a cheat always a cheat?” ) mara don’t leave your house for another bish yada yada yada. NONSENSE!
PART 7.
The days that followed were tough. I saw my friend broken and defeated. I had gone to her house and picked up some of her stuff and Lennox’s at her insistence. Ken’s efforts to try talk to her or see her proved futile. From our close circle of friends, I was informed that he was depressed and had even taken time off work. Mimi na mahasira zangu, I couldn’t stand his ass ungedhani it’s me he had cheated on.
For 3 weeks, Leah and her baby boy stayed with me and for those 3 weeks Ken sent several of our friends to talk Leah into taking him back. Those friends gave all manner of advises, similar to what I see members say here on chitchateastafricanmums. Mara tulia kwenye ndoa yako, mara dont leave your home for another woman, fight for your marriage,Sijui go down on your knees and pray for your husband, sijui some fights are fought on bended knees ( Doesn’t the Bible itself condemn infidelity? Isn’t divorce permitted in the Bible should a partner be unfaithful?) At first Leah stood her ground but with time she started thinking of maybe forgiving him and that was finally achieved when their pastor sat both of them down and talked to them. She forgave him at last and took him back. You should have seen Ken in the days that followed, he was so happy one could have easily thought that the shitombi had won a jackpot! He was grateful to have his family back and swore on his life to never betray my best friend again. She took him back but they both knew that it would take a lot of work for him to earn her trust again and he was willing to do whatever it took to earn it. What a wonderful man right? well, not so fast wadaku, sit back, udaku ndio sasa inaanza.
PART 8.
THE days that followed were pure bliss. Ken went out of his way to make Leah happy. He took her on a 1 week vacation to Seychelles ( these two were successful so money was never an issue). During that period Lennox stayed with her maternal grandparents, btw, both parents wa Leah and Ken never knew of the infidelity or the mini break up that had happened.
When they came back from their vacation Ken continued with the good husband traits. His profile pic had Leah and their son or Leah and him with soulful statuses such as,”I’d choose you in a thousand worlds, in a million lifetimes, I’d still find you and choose you.” Their love was stronger than ever. As part of earning her trust back, they even from time to time swapped phones, with Leah taking his to work and him taking hers to work. Everything was perfect and I saw my friend genuinely happy again, that’s all that mattered to me.
We were having a girl’s spa day when a lady who was having her nails done started telling a friend of hers over the phone how she had found out that “baba Wambo” (her husband)was cheating on her after hacking his watsp messages. I could tell from Leah’s face that the conversation that the woman was having had intrigued her (wanaume, wanaume,once your woman finds out about your unfaithful ways, she never remains the same)
When the woman was through with her phone call, Leah stoke a conversation with her and minutes later we had already been shown how to hack watsp ya wenyewe. She explained to me later on when I asked why she had gone through the trouble of asking for that when she could easily access Ken’s phone and she told me that she just wanted to cover all ends and be sure. So deal ikawa ati I be the one whose phone she would link Ken’s with since she couldn’t do it with her phone for fear that Ken might find out being that they at times swapped phones. She had no problems with me seeing any chats be it family or otherwise that came through Ken’s phone coz she and I shared everything, I was the sister she never had. So the next day she took my phone to their home and linked it with Ken’s. Nikawa an FBI agent/spy officially. ( lakini the things we women do just to keep these 3 legged creatures in line)
A month passed by, then 2, then 4 then 6 then 9 months and from all look of things, the shitombi was faithful, it was like he had truly turned over a new leaf He outrightly told the girls who were hitting on him/throwing themselves at him.that he was married, happily married and that his family was his world. I dutifully reported my findings to my BFF.
All was perfect but 10 months into the operation, the umalaya devil struck again.
PART 9
It was a message that took me by surprise and left me angrier and confused than I had ever been.
“Babe, thank you for the awesome orgasms, you really are something.” came the message,the number was unsaved..
A few mins later, Ken sent,” You are a tigress in bed, an insatiable one.”
“😍😍😍😍😍.”Her
“I love you Mercy.” Him
“Marry me babe😍.” Her
“utakubali kuwa mke wa pili😎?” Him
“Of course it would be a dream come true but najuwa unanibwaga.” Her
“😂😂😂😂😂 let’s just enjoy what we have. we already spoke about this. I can’t leave my wife but that doesn’t mean you don’t matter to me.” Him
“sawa, babe, don’t forget to send me the 50k you promised, I need to pay rent and do some shopping.” Her
“sending right away my queen.” Him
Some minutes elapsed , saa hizo nimechemka yangu yote. The nerves this man had smdh
“Thanks hun! nimepata! you are the best daddy!”
“calling you in a while.” Him
Not wanting to take any chances, I took screenshots of their conversation, my mind racing. There was no question of me not showing the messages to Leah. Of course I was going to.(Did I mention that I can’t stand men who cheat?) What had me worried was how badly this revelation would affect her.
Minutes later, I left for Leah’s house. If I’m to describe her reaction when she saw the screenshots, I’d take forever and a day so I’ll sum it up in few words, she took it pretty hard, it broke her completely.
I was about to leave when we heard Ken pull into the driveway, “please stay,” she said amidst tears. I stayed. mins later, the shitombi walked in carrying flowers 😕 the nerves this fool had.
PART 10
Leah didn’t waste time confronting Ken over the texts, I’ll not go into details coz I wanna make the story short. Ken was shocked. He couldn’t figure out how she had known, he kept asking if it’s the Mercy bish who had informed Leah of their affair, dude was totally lost. Once again he started pleading huku akilia yake yote.They were genuine tears and most of you women would have forgiven him papo hapo but my friend had had enough, she packed a bag for her son and a suitcase for herself. All this while Ken akiwa analia yake yote, mara the devil had gotten into him, mara the affair hadn’t been on for long, yada yada pure bull!
When he couldn’t get Leah to listen to him, he turned to me, begging me to plead with Leah not to leave but I wasn’t having it and he knew it, I was after my friend’s well being and that was it. In a few minutes we were gone. We left him crying coiled on the floor talking of how he was going to commit suicide if Leah didn’t give him a final chance but Enough was Enough.
PART 11.
In the days that followed, the same things happened, yaani history repeated itself. The shitombi sent friends to plead with Leah but this time she wasn’t buying it.
It took her days for her to even get back to working. It was days and nights of her crying, questioning and doubting herself. What was it that made Ken step out on her? she wanted closure but she got none.
She stayed at my place with her baby Lenny for close to 3 months and when she was strong enough, she decided to get her own place na aendelee na maisha yake. And for all that period, Ken never gave up trying to win her back. (On this second break up, Leah informed parents from both sides. Ken’s parents begged her to give him another chance while her own parents told her they’d support whatever decision she made, she decided to be on her own and raise her kid)
6 months passed after she had gotten her own place and she really was doing great! The shitombi still pressed on with his pleas and tears, aki that man could beg . On her 9th month of being alone with her son, Ken na watu wao wakaenda kwa akina Leah to beg her parents to talk her into giving him a chance.
A meeting was called, I accompanied her. Ken looked lost and unhappy, it was visibly clear that the break up had had a toll on him. Ken’s parents pleaded on his behalf, walikuja na 2 cows with cash (kimila).. This whole time Ken was at Leah’s feet.
Leah’s father made it clear that he wasn’t happy with Ken’s behaviour. Her parents said the decision was in their daughter’s hands and that they wouldn’t push her to do anything against her wish. Usiku ikafika and Leah asked for time to think things over,she’d give her response in the morning.
Again wale marafiki mafala (Ken had come with some) started telling Leah mara it wasn’t fair for Lennox to grow up without both parents under the same roof, sijui human is to error sijui chietha ridha, I couldn’t take the hypocrisy so I left for bed nikawaacha hapo wakiongea na Leah but I made my opinion clear to her, in my view I told her not to take the shitombi back but instead get a divorce.One friend I was told later told her not to listen to me as I was a bitter single woman😂 the things friends can say behind your back 🤔
PART 12
I don’t know what magic words Ken, his friends and family used but 1 look at my BFF’s eyes in the morning and I knew that she was gonna give her shitombi of a husband another chance and that’s what she did.
She told them that she would give him a final chance, that this would be it. She sighted their son as the main reason why she was giving him another chance. I wasn’t happy about her taking him back and I let her know but as a friend, I had to support whatever decision she had made.I told her to get them both tested for HIV which they both did. 3 months after getting tested they had another test and both were negative.
They took another vacation this time, to Maldives, Ken was doing everything to bring back their love and to restore her trust. In the months that followed he treated Leah like a queen, she was loved and she loved back with equal measure. Everything was perfect.
One day, after two perfect years since they had gotten back together, Leah came to my place and told me that she had just done a pregnancy test and it had turned out positive! We hugged and cried for this was a blessing! I had never seen my friend so happy! She wanted me to help her plan on how to reveal the great news to Ken who was bound to come back from work at around 8pm (Nairobi traffic)
As part of the kasmall celebration, she needed Ken to bring with him her favourite ice cream and so she sent him a message saying,”Baby, please bring with you some raspberry ice cream on your way home, love you 😘😘.”
A few minutes after, while we were still in the middle of planning on how best to surprise Ken, a message came in, it was a message that not only changed their lives but mine too. Acheni nilie kwanza, I’ll be back.
PART 13
There was a chilling scream from Leah that scared me to the core. She then dropped her phone and got down on the floor literally wailing ” I can’t do this anymore, I can’t, I can’t. Oh God why me, why.” I couldn’t think clearly, I picked her phone and still displayed on the screen was this message,
“woman please, badala ya kuitisha ice cream why don’t you ask for something that can boost your immunity. The last time I checked, ice cream didn’t boost immunity for those with HIV.” It was a message accompanied by a selfie photo of Ken in bed with an unknown woman, it was sent from Ken’s number. In the pic Ken was visibly asleep with the woman beside him.
“Lei, listen to me, she could be lying.. Please calm down.” I said but she was inconsolable and I understood coz even as I said those words, I was overcome by fear. I picked the phone and went outside, I wasn’t sure of how I was going to go about it but I dialled Ken’s number.
The 1st ring there was no answer, I called a second time and a lady finally picked ( She was speaking in low tone so I assumed she had taken the phone to a place where the sleeping shitombi couldn’t hear her.
“Yes niko naye hapa,what will you do about it, Nothing. And keep in mind that I won’t leave him,just like you , I have accepted my status, tuendelee kumeza ARVs polepole. ” Those were her 1st words the moment she picked my call ( She assumed she was talking to Leah and I didn’t tell her otherwise) I was beyond stunned, it was like I was in some dream of sorts but I was determined to get to the bottom of this, if this was some lie to hurt my friend then I was going to know the truth and so I started talking.
THE lady, I learnt her name was Joyce, told me that indeed she was HIV positive and so was Ken (She was surprised to learn that I ‘Leah’ wasn’t aware of this as Ken had told her months back that his wife too was aware of their status). She made it clear that she isn’t the one who had infected Ken but another lady with whom he had a 6 months old baby (This man even had a baby mama on the side!!!) She informed me that she had found out about her status a little too late ( they never used protection, she made that clear) Upon further inquiry, she told me that Ken had stopped seeing the baby mama but still catered for his baby’s need. She said all 3 of them were already on ARVs and made it clear to me that she wasn’t ever going to leave Ken, and that if I wasn’t ready to share I should leave.
“WHOM ARE YOU TALKING TO?” it was almost a scream from the other side, it was Ken’s voice, he must have woken up and found her on his phone. Instantly the phone was disconnected. I stood there frozen, not sure of how I was going to break all that to Leah, I mean how do you tell your BFF, that the man who had vowed to never cheat on her had done it again and that he had a 6 months baby with a woman who had apparently infected him with HIV and him and his 2 sidechics were already on ARVs and that she your best friend could possibly be positive to. How do you tell all that to any woman for that matter? It was tough ladies, I’ll forever remember July15th
PART 14
It was hours before I got Leah to calm down after I told her of what I had learnt. ( I didn’t tell her everything though and to this day I feel guilty but I’d live with that than live with what more pain the opposite would have caused her. I told her that the lady had confirmed that both her Joyce and Ken were positive and on drugs. I didn’t tell her of the baby mama or the 6 months old baby. I felt it would be too much considering that Leah had just found out that she was pregnant)
When we got to the VCT centre, Leah was still in tears. When it was time for her to get tested, she insisted that I be in the room with her. She was counselled and tgen the test was carried out.A few minutes later, the results came back. My best friend was HIV positive 😭😭😭😭.. “Do another test? do it.” She cried and another test was done then another and another and they were all positive. Leah fainted. I myself was in tears. A short while later, my phone rang, it was Ken. I could tell from his voice that he already knew what was going on.
“Does she know?” He asked me. I was too mad to even talk so I hung up on him.
PART 15
The months that followed were pure hell. Leah had a hard time accepting her status. She was taken through a series of cancelling but they never seem to have any effect on her. She stopped going to work ( her law firm still brought in the cash though). She stayed by herself most of the time. Half the time she was in bed crying. She cried for months.
Twice she attempted suicide but failed. I watched my friend reduced to a shell of her old self. She didn’t eat right, taking medication was something she struggled with ( She had been put on medication and asked to follow the timings strictly for the sake of her unborn child).. Her once happy home was filled with nothing but sadness. Her mum came and stayed with her for sometime, I quit my job (am a lawyer) to take care of her and Lenny during her pregnancy, that was after the second failed suicide attempt, finance was never an issue to me or her. Our once happy days were replaced by long moments of silence and sadness and tears, she cried herself to bed most nights and so did I.
THE day we found out about Ken’s secret, he didn’t come back home and even in the weeks that followed he didnt. After a lot of back and forth with him over the phone, I finally asked Leah to let him have the 1 meeting that he so desperately begged for.I was home with Leah when that meeting took place. She had a lot of questions for him but most importantly, she wanted to know where it was that she had failed as a woman and as a wife, the fool had no response for that. He confessed to having known his status and for having been secretly on ARVs, he said that he had had plans of letting her know eventually and that he had only been waiting for the right moment to do so. ( I had told him that I hadn’t revealed of his baby mama and child to Leah and asked him not to disclose that part coz as it was, she wasn’t taking the little that she knew very well) After all that, the shitombi had the nerves to ask for another chance( the nerves this fool had!!!) Leah asked him to take his things and never return to their home. She had had me pack every single thing that belonged to Ken including his toothbrushes in several suitcases. He left and from what I heard, he moved in with the Joyce girl.
Leah had a safe delivery and for a while she seemed ok and so I resumed working. We got her a nanny and her mum visited regularly but after about 4 months of delivering her baby girl, depression seemed to have kicked in again. The nanny told me that she still cried herself to sleep, she rarely ate and never took medication like she was supposed to. (She didn’t breastfeed her baby, she was born HIV negative btw) My BFF, lost significant weight and with that her strength too. She was in and out of hospital wards several times And I spent the cold nights by her bedside, speaking words of faith to her. On one such occasion, I left her ward in the morning to go get some breakfast in the hospital canteen, her mum was to come and relieve me in the afternoon so I could go for a change of clothing and freshen up, when I got back to her ward, her bedsheets had been pulled up all the way to her head, there was a doctor and 3 nurses in the room, they informed me of the terrible news, my BFF was no more 😭😭😭😭😭😭.
PART 16
After Leah’s funeral, I slipped into depression, coming to terms with her loss was the one thing I couldn’t bring myself to doing. (Ken never attended the funeral, he definitely would have been murdered had he tried to.)
Depression almost cost me my life but God sent me a wonderful companion (my husband) he helped me get through the tough times. We have a child of our own plus we live with Leah’s two kids, it took a lot of convincing to get Leah’s parents to allow me have her babies. Her daughter is a spitting image of Leah. Initially, Ken came to see them once in a while but with time those visits stopped. From what I heard, he broke up with Joyce and is currently living with another woman with whom they have twin boys. Our friends tell me that he hasn’t stopped his cheating ways and that his current wife seem to not mind. God only knows how many people he has infected so far.
Before my husband and I got married, we laid down some rules. No passwords on our phones, no cheating and should either of us ever feel tired of what we have in our marriage, the person is to let the other one know and the marriage to be dissolved before either party cheats on the other. My husband knows that the day that he’ll break his promise and cheat, I’ll leave the marriage completely. Do I trust my husband? Yes I do. Do I have his watsp messages hacked? yes I have and he doesn’t know coz there’s a seperate phone for it. In all this while, I thank God there’s never been anything to suggest he’s cheating but should that ever happen, believe me I’ll leave. I expect the much that I put in our marriage so no, those are things I’ll never compromise on.
PART 17
So to the married women here on chitchateastafricanmums, who know that their husbands are cheating on them and are still holding on to those toxic marriages, what you should know is that the slay queen or the mpango wa kando that your husband is sleeping around with, most probably has a partner, and that partner, most likely is cheating on her too, it’s a long line so you never know where the virus may come from. Most mwk know that the married men they sleep with will probably never leave their wives for them and so what they do is they try to keep a serious other relationship on the side.
I see women saying mara never touch your husband’s phone kama hutaki stress but my question is, would you rather not know of his cheating ways and in the end find yourself infected with a disease or would you rather know and cut your losses when you still can? For the women who keep forgiving their cheating spouses in the name of “all men cheat and it rains everywhere” or those who sight their children as their reason for staying, my question is, is having a man in your life or having the status ‘married much more important than having a long healthy life? Would you rather live longer leading a healthy life or have your life cut short because of a disease you didn’t go out looking for in the name of all men are the same?
WOMEN WAKE UP! BE AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR DAUGHTERS, so in future when they find themselves in such toxic relationships, they’ll have the courage to walk out simply because their mamas did so too. Raise your sons right, teach them to respect women.
AIDS is real! Remember that everyday. HIV is not a death sentence, there are people who have lived even much longer with the virus than regular healthy people, but it comes with a lot of work and commitment, daily medication, being able to accept the disease, stigmatisation in the community etc. Yes there are several ways through which the disease is transmitted and perhaps it is a lot easier for those who go looking for it by their promiscuous ways to accept it but what of those who don’t, the loyal faithful women who get it from their cheating partners or vice versa?
LADIES, be independent, tafuta kazi hata kama ni biashara kidogo ya kuuza makaa, in short have a source of income so that when all hell breaks lose, you have something to bounce on. Lay down rules, demand that your husbands live by them. The fact that a man keeps changing how he’s saved the number of a female colleague that you are against should send red flags to you and make you give him ultimatums. Yes, check those phones and do not sacrifice ya life for anyone who doesn’t take effort to do the same.
A cheating partner is selfish n doesn’t care about u. Coz if they really do they also value ya life and your kids lives. Let’s wake up ladies, let’s be vigilant.
My best friend Leah married the love of her life several years ago. They were perfect for each other. Theirs was what some of you may call genuine love. They met each other while Leah and I were in Campus. Her husband Ken, pursued her for over 6 months before she finally gave in, (I played a part in convincing her to give Ken a chance and that’s something that I’ll forever regret.) Their love was something that most envied and others looked up to. One look at them and you could tell that they were madly in love with each other. They were spotted everywhere together. After 2 yrs of dating Ken proposed, it was a magical moment, we laughed, we cried, aahh the kind of perfect love that you only see in movies. Introductions were done on either side of the families and Leah’s parents loved Ken just as his loved her.
After graduation, they got married and were blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Their relationship grew even stronger and then after a period of time, EVERYTHING CHANGED
PART 2
Let me 1st tell you ladies about Leah. Leah was a God fearing woman, she was extremely beautiful, the kind of beauty that had heads turning whenever she walked by. Sura na figure zote alipewa. Men lusted openly and shamelessly for her but she never for once even thought of cheating on Ken, I was her best friend so I knew. She was brought up in a strict upbringing. Her parents were staunch Christians, when Leah met Ken, she was a virgin. He’s the one to whom she lost her virginity, the only man who saw her nakedness. Her family was stable. They were rich, growing up she had everything but Leah remained humble
On top of her natural God-given beauty, Leah was intelligent, a woman with brains. By the time they had their baby boy, Leah was already having her own law firm, even as a lawyer, she was perfect. Ken himself was a successful accountant so money was never a problem.
Now, Leah my friend,was the kind of woman who never touched her husband’s phone, she had no reason to. Ken’s phone had no password and most of the time he had it laying carelessly in the house so it’s only fair that Leah never felt the need to check his phone because let’s face it ladies, which unfaithful man leaves his phone unattended and without a password to protect it? Other than this, he had Leah and their son on his profile pic in every media platform or outlet that you can think of, he never took his wedding ring off, he answered her calls whenever she called aaah, the perfect man. Even I who had sworn to never trust these 3 legged creatures started to think at some point that this particular one was different, a God sent, one that was specifically sent to restore women’s faith in men, HOW WRONG WAS I
PART 3
It started out with a change in his watsp profile photo, Leah and her son’s profile pic came down and its place was Ken and a colleague’s, a male colleague so no alarms went off on my bestie’s head, as a matter of fact, she loved how her husband looked in that pic, Did I mention that Ken was a handsome man? face ✔ height✔ built✔ yaani all the works. Other than the profile pic, nothing else changed.
The picture perfect family and the made for the movies love story all came crushing on a late Saturday evening. Ken was having an afternoon nap after having played during the better part of the morning with their son when his phone which was in the living room rang. Leah rushed to answer it (they answered each other’s phones, these two had no secrets between them, well, that’s what we all thought. ) She got to the phone a second late just as it stopped ringing. She decided to put it on silent mode so as to not wake Ken and tgeir son up. She was about to put it down when a message came in from the same unregistered number that had just called and it read “I know you warned me to never send a message juu ‘our wife’ anaeza ona but babe, yesterday’s quickie still got my kanyau aching for you😍😍😍. I can’t wait for more, love you.”
PART 4
For a moment she couldn’t believe it. The person must have mistaken Ken’s number for somebody else’s, she thought and as if to confirm her fears, another text came in,”Babe, kati yangu na mama Lennox, who is sweeter?😍😍.” This time any shred of doubt that had been in her mind was errased for Lennox was their son’s name.
Not trusting her own legs to support her, she sat down on the floor, her mind racing. She’d heard of men cheating on their wives but not even once had she thought that Ken would cheat on her, her Ken, her perfect Ken. She started going through his phone like a mad woman, checked his watsp messages, messanger,phone logs, his gallery etc but other than the texts from the unregistered number, there was no other sign of infidelity..Dude sure did clean up well.
Controlled by rage she stormed into the bedroom and woke him up with a slap on his face and before he could register whether this was some sort of a dream or not, another hotter slap landed on his face. “WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!” it was a high pitched scream followed by a push on his chest. By now he was fully awake na alikuwa ameshtuka yake yote.
“I’m not cheating on you, what are you talking about?” Ken lied, yaani Shaggy alipoimba ule wimbo we “it wasn’t me, it’s like the entire male species took notes.”
“Stop lying to me! Why are you cheating on me??!! What don’t I do for you? she demanded. He was about to deny it a second time when she threw his phone at him hitting his right arm in the process. “Read the messages, read them.” She commanded.
One look at the messages and he knew that he had been caught. There was no way he could lie his way out of this. He got down immediately on his knees right next to her.”Forgive me baby, please forgive me. I swear I can explain, I’ll stop, I’ll block her, she means nothing to me, please don’t leave me, I’ll die if you do, you are my everything, please forgive me baby, I’ll explain everything blah blah blah.” By this time he was already crying. He pleaded some more and she just stood there, broken, unable to move or say anything. Her heart was weeping, torn, betrayed.
PART 5
“Why Ken? Why? What don’t I do to you? I’m I not beautiful enough? Don’t I do my wifely duties? What does she have or do to you that I don’t? For how long has this been going on?” She wanted to know He tried to explain himself, saying that mara oh the devil had gotten into him, mara the lady had pushed herself on him, he admitted that the affair had been going on for 6 months and that he’d use protection everytime. He took his phone and dialled the number putting the call on loudspeaker. “Hi Babe!” came the lady’s voice.
“Listen Elsa, whatever we had is over! I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m married and I love my wife and son. You were a mistake! Don’t ever contact me again, umeskia?”
“Babe kwani what’s wrong? nimefanya nini? ama ‘our wife’ amesoma the texts I sent?” the bish asked (yaani hawa mpango wa kando huita their sponsors spouses’our wife’)
“DON’T YOU EVER CALL HER OUR WIFE! she’s a better woman than you, you cheap whore!” he was shouting, visibly shaken,whether it was out of anger or fear of being caught, Leah couldn’t tell.
“Cheap whore?? I’m a better woman than your wife 10 times otherwise why have you been cheating on her with me?” The so called Elsa retorted.
“Mjinga wewe, malaya!” He shouted and then hang up.
.”Baby please forgive me, please baby.. I’ll block her see.” He said and with that took his phone and blocked the number.
Leah stood up, saying nothing. Ken held on to her feet crying, ” please forgive me mama Lennox, please have mercy on me.” He was now lying flat on his tummy, his tears on her feet (who said men don’t shed tears 😕)
She moved away leaving him lying face down on the floor. She went to her son’s room. Lennox was still sleeping, she picked him up, took her phone and headed for the door.
Ken must have heard her open the door for he rushed to them and pleaded some more with her to not leave but her mind was made up. She left and minutes later, she was at my house. We lived next to each other.
PART 6
It was the loud voices inside my compound that got my attention. On getting out, I found Leah shouting at Ken to leave her alone, Lennox was crying, Ken pia alikuwa analia and he was bare foot, we were neighbours separated only by a wall, so this wasn’t that surprising even though it was a 1st. The moment Leah saw me she broke down. It’s a sight I’ll never forget. The Leah I knew was a strong woman, emotionally stable. In our 15yrs of friendship, I had only seen her breakdown once and that was at her grandma’s funeral so you can imagine how taken aback I was by the whole scenario.
Ken kept saying, ” Leah please let’s go back to our house and talk this through.”
“Ken niache,pigia malaya wako who is a better woman than me and tell her that she can come take my place.” She responded.
“Baby, ple…” He started but was stopped by a loud, “NIACHE!” she was almost hysterical. I took Lennox from her and she made for my door. Ken was about to follow her but I stopped him.” I dont know what’s going on but it’s best you leave. You can come back later.” I said firmly and without a word he turned and walked away.
When I got to the house, Leah was in my bedroom sobbing uncontrollably. I tried getting her to tell me what was going on but she couldn’t compose herself so I went back to the living room to give her time to calm down.
2hrs later with me checking on her from time to time, she came to the sitting room and that’s when she told me everything. By then a close friend of ours had also joined us and Lennox was fast asleep in my bed. We did our best to comfort her, told her that Ken cheating wasn’t a sign of anything wrong with her but everything wrong with him. She didn’t know what to do so she needed our advise, I was for the idea that she quit the marriage( I’m the type of woman who can’t stay with a man who cheats. you cheat, I quit, period, ujinga ya it rains everywhere sijui) but our other friend Gladys wasn’t for it. She talked of how all men cheat, mara it rains everywhere, mara oohhh forgive him as this is his 1st time ( whatever happened to the phrase “once a cheat always a cheat?” ) mara don’t leave your house for another bish yada yada yada. NONSENSE!
PART 7.
The days that followed were tough. I saw my friend broken and defeated. I had gone to her house and picked up some of her stuff and Lennox’s at her insistence. Ken’s efforts to try talk to her or see her proved futile. From our close circle of friends, I was informed that he was depressed and had even taken time off work. Mimi na mahasira zangu, I couldn’t stand his ass ungedhani it’s me he had cheated on.
For 3 weeks, Leah and her baby boy stayed with me and for those 3 weeks Ken sent several of our friends to talk Leah into taking him back. Those friends gave all manner of advises, similar to what I see members say here on chitchateastafricanmums. Mara tulia kwenye ndoa yako, mara dont leave your home for another woman, fight for your marriage,Sijui go down on your knees and pray for your husband, sijui some fights are fought on bended knees ( Doesn’t the Bible itself condemn infidelity? Isn’t divorce permitted in the Bible should a partner be unfaithful?) At first Leah stood her ground but with time she started thinking of maybe forgiving him and that was finally achieved when their pastor sat both of them down and talked to them. She forgave him at last and took him back. You should have seen Ken in the days that followed, he was so happy one could have easily thought that the shitombi had won a jackpot! He was grateful to have his family back and swore on his life to never betray my best friend again. She took him back but they both knew that it would take a lot of work for him to earn her trust again and he was willing to do whatever it took to earn it. What a wonderful man right? well, not so fast wadaku, sit back, udaku ndio sasa inaanza.
PART 8.
THE days that followed were pure bliss. Ken went out of his way to make Leah happy. He took her on a 1 week vacation to Seychelles ( these two were successful so money was never an issue). During that period Lennox stayed with her maternal grandparents, btw, both parents wa Leah and Ken never knew of the infidelity or the mini break up that had happened.
When they came back from their vacation Ken continued with the good husband traits. His profile pic had Leah and their son or Leah and him with soulful statuses such as,”I’d choose you in a thousand worlds, in a million lifetimes, I’d still find you and choose you.” Their love was stronger than ever. As part of earning her trust back, they even from time to time swapped phones, with Leah taking his to work and him taking hers to work. Everything was perfect and I saw my friend genuinely happy again, that’s all that mattered to me.
We were having a girl’s spa day when a lady who was having her nails done started telling a friend of hers over the phone how she had found out that “baba Wambo” (her husband)was cheating on her after hacking his watsp messages. I could tell from Leah’s face that the conversation that the woman was having had intrigued her (wanaume, wanaume,once your woman finds out about your unfaithful ways, she never remains the same)
When the woman was through with her phone call, Leah stoke a conversation with her and minutes later we had already been shown how to hack watsp ya wenyewe. She explained to me later on when I asked why she had gone through the trouble of asking for that when she could easily access Ken’s phone and she told me that she just wanted to cover all ends and be sure. So deal ikawa ati I be the one whose phone she would link Ken’s with since she couldn’t do it with her phone for fear that Ken might find out being that they at times swapped phones. She had no problems with me seeing any chats be it family or otherwise that came through Ken’s phone coz she and I shared everything, I was the sister she never had. So the next day she took my phone to their home and linked it with Ken’s. Nikawa an FBI agent/spy officially. ( lakini the things we women do just to keep these 3 legged creatures in line)
A month passed by, then 2, then 4 then 6 then 9 months and from all look of things, the shitombi was faithful, it was like he had truly turned over a new leaf He outrightly told the girls who were hitting on him/throwing themselves at him.that he was married, happily married and that his family was his world. I dutifully reported my findings to my BFF.
All was perfect but 10 months into the operation, the umalaya devil struck again.
PART 9
It was a message that took me by surprise and left me angrier and confused than I had ever been.
“Babe, thank you for the awesome orgasms, you really are something.” came the message,the number was unsaved..
A few mins later, Ken sent,” You are a tigress in bed, an insatiable one.”
“😍😍😍😍😍.”Her
“I love you Mercy.” Him
“Marry me babe😍.” Her
“utakubali kuwa mke wa pili😎?” Him
“Of course it would be a dream come true but najuwa unanibwaga.” Her
“😂😂😂😂😂 let’s just enjoy what we have. we already spoke about this. I can’t leave my wife but that doesn’t mean you don’t matter to me.” Him
“sawa, babe, don’t forget to send me the 50k you promised, I need to pay rent and do some shopping.” Her
“sending right away my queen.” Him
Some minutes elapsed , saa hizo nimechemka yangu yote. The nerves this man had smdh
“Thanks hun! nimepata! you are the best daddy!”
“calling you in a while.” Him
Not wanting to take any chances, I took screenshots of their conversation, my mind racing. There was no question of me not showing the messages to Leah. Of course I was going to.(Did I mention that I can’t stand men who cheat?) What had me worried was how badly this revelation would affect her.
Minutes later, I left for Leah’s house. If I’m to describe her reaction when she saw the screenshots, I’d take forever and a day so I’ll sum it up in few words, she took it pretty hard, it broke her completely.
I was about to leave when we heard Ken pull into the driveway, “please stay,” she said amidst tears. I stayed. mins later, the shitombi walked in carrying flowers 😕 the nerves this fool had.
PART 10
Leah didn’t waste time confronting Ken over the texts, I’ll not go into details coz I wanna make the story short. Ken was shocked. He couldn’t figure out how she had known, he kept asking if it’s the Mercy bish who had informed Leah of their affair, dude was totally lost. Once again he started pleading huku akilia yake yote.They were genuine tears and most of you women would have forgiven him papo hapo but my friend had had enough, she packed a bag for her son and a suitcase for herself. All this while Ken akiwa analia yake yote, mara the devil had gotten into him, mara the affair hadn’t been on for long, yada yada pure bull!
When he couldn’t get Leah to listen to him, he turned to me, begging me to plead with Leah not to leave but I wasn’t having it and he knew it, I was after my friend’s well being and that was it. In a few minutes we were gone. We left him crying coiled on the floor talking of how he was going to commit suicide if Leah didn’t give him a final chance but Enough was Enough.
PART 11.
In the days that followed, the same things happened, yaani history repeated itself. The shitombi sent friends to plead with Leah but this time she wasn’t buying it.
It took her days for her to even get back to working. It was days and nights of her crying, questioning and doubting herself. What was it that made Ken step out on her? she wanted closure but she got none.
She stayed at my place with her baby Lenny for close to 3 months and when she was strong enough, she decided to get her own place na aendelee na maisha yake. And for all that period, Ken never gave up trying to win her back. (On this second break up, Leah informed parents from both sides. Ken’s parents begged her to give him another chance while her own parents told her they’d support whatever decision she made, she decided to be on her own and raise her kid)
6 months passed after she had gotten her own place and she really was doing great! The shitombi still pressed on with his pleas and tears, aki that man could beg . On her 9th month of being alone with her son, Ken na watu wao wakaenda kwa akina Leah to beg her parents to talk her into giving him a chance.
A meeting was called, I accompanied her. Ken looked lost and unhappy, it was visibly clear that the break up had had a toll on him. Ken’s parents pleaded on his behalf, walikuja na 2 cows with cash (kimila).. This whole time Ken was at Leah’s feet.
Leah’s father made it clear that he wasn’t happy with Ken’s behaviour. Her parents said the decision was in their daughter’s hands and that they wouldn’t push her to do anything against her wish. Usiku ikafika and Leah asked for time to think things over,she’d give her response in the morning.
Again wale marafiki mafala (Ken had come with some) started telling Leah mara it wasn’t fair for Lennox to grow up without both parents under the same roof, sijui human is to error sijui chietha ridha, I couldn’t take the hypocrisy so I left for bed nikawaacha hapo wakiongea na Leah but I made my opinion clear to her, in my view I told her not to take the shitombi back but instead get a divorce.One friend I was told later told her not to listen to me as I was a bitter single woman😂 the things friends can say behind your back 🤔
PART 12
I don’t know what magic words Ken, his friends and family used but 1 look at my BFF’s eyes in the morning and I knew that she was gonna give her shitombi of a husband another chance and that’s what she did.
She told them that she would give him a final chance, that this would be it. She sighted their son as the main reason why she was giving him another chance. I wasn’t happy about her taking him back and I let her know but as a friend, I had to support whatever decision she had made.I told her to get them both tested for HIV which they both did. 3 months after getting tested they had another test and both were negative.
They took another vacation this time, to Maldives, Ken was doing everything to bring back their love and to restore her trust. In the months that followed he treated Leah like a queen, she was loved and she loved back with equal measure. Everything was perfect.
One day, after two perfect years since they had gotten back together, Leah came to my place and told me that she had just done a pregnancy test and it had turned out positive! We hugged and cried for this was a blessing! I had never seen my friend so happy! She wanted me to help her plan on how to reveal the great news to Ken who was bound to come back from work at around 8pm (Nairobi traffic)
As part of the kasmall celebration, she needed Ken to bring with him her favourite ice cream and so she sent him a message saying,”Baby, please bring with you some raspberry ice cream on your way home, love you 😘😘.”
A few minutes after, while we were still in the middle of planning on how best to surprise Ken, a message came in, it was a message that not only changed their lives but mine too. Acheni nilie kwanza, I’ll be back.
PART 13
There was a chilling scream from Leah that scared me to the core. She then dropped her phone and got down on the floor literally wailing ” I can’t do this anymore, I can’t, I can’t. Oh God why me, why.” I couldn’t think clearly, I picked her phone and still displayed on the screen was this message,
“woman please, badala ya kuitisha ice cream why don’t you ask for something that can boost your immunity. The last time I checked, ice cream didn’t boost immunity for those with HIV.” It was a message accompanied by a selfie photo of Ken in bed with an unknown woman, it was sent from Ken’s number. In the pic Ken was visibly asleep with the woman beside him.
“Lei, listen to me, she could be lying.. Please calm down.” I said but she was inconsolable and I understood coz even as I said those words, I was overcome by fear. I picked the phone and went outside, I wasn’t sure of how I was going to go about it but I dialled Ken’s number.
The 1st ring there was no answer, I called a second time and a lady finally picked ( She was speaking in low tone so I assumed she had taken the phone to a place where the sleeping shitombi couldn’t hear her.
“Yes niko naye hapa,what will you do about it, Nothing. And keep in mind that I won’t leave him,just like you , I have accepted my status, tuendelee kumeza ARVs polepole. ” Those were her 1st words the moment she picked my call ( She assumed she was talking to Leah and I didn’t tell her otherwise) I was beyond stunned, it was like I was in some dream of sorts but I was determined to get to the bottom of this, if this was some lie to hurt my friend then I was going to know the truth and so I started talking.
THE lady, I learnt her name was Joyce, told me that indeed she was HIV positive and so was Ken (She was surprised to learn that I ‘Leah’ wasn’t aware of this as Ken had told her months back that his wife too was aware of their status). She made it clear that she isn’t the one who had infected Ken but another lady with whom he had a 6 months old baby (This man even had a baby mama on the side!!!) She informed me that she had found out about her status a little too late ( they never used protection, she made that clear) Upon further inquiry, she told me that Ken had stopped seeing the baby mama but still catered for his baby’s need. She said all 3 of them were already on ARVs and made it clear to me that she wasn’t ever going to leave Ken, and that if I wasn’t ready to share I should leave.
“WHOM ARE YOU TALKING TO?” it was almost a scream from the other side, it was Ken’s voice, he must have woken up and found her on his phone. Instantly the phone was disconnected. I stood there frozen, not sure of how I was going to break all that to Leah, I mean how do you tell your BFF, that the man who had vowed to never cheat on her had done it again and that he had a 6 months baby with a woman who had apparently infected him with HIV and him and his 2 sidechics were already on ARVs and that she your best friend could possibly be positive to. How do you tell all that to any woman for that matter? It was tough ladies, I’ll forever remember July15th
PART 14
It was hours before I got Leah to calm down after I told her of what I had learnt. ( I didn’t tell her everything though and to this day I feel guilty but I’d live with that than live with what more pain the opposite would have caused her. I told her that the lady had confirmed that both her Joyce and Ken were positive and on drugs. I didn’t tell her of the baby mama or the 6 months old baby. I felt it would be too much considering that Leah had just found out that she was pregnant)
When we got to the VCT centre, Leah was still in tears. When it was time for her to get tested, she insisted that I be in the room with her. She was counselled and tgen the test was carried out.A few minutes later, the results came back. My best friend was HIV positive 😭😭😭😭.. “Do another test? do it.” She cried and another test was done then another and another and they were all positive. Leah fainted. I myself was in tears. A short while later, my phone rang, it was Ken. I could tell from his voice that he already knew what was going on.
“Does she know?” He asked me. I was too mad to even talk so I hung up on him.
PART 15
The months that followed were pure hell. Leah had a hard time accepting her status. She was taken through a series of cancelling but they never seem to have any effect on her. She stopped going to work ( her law firm still brought in the cash though). She stayed by herself most of the time. Half the time she was in bed crying. She cried for months.
Twice she attempted suicide but failed. I watched my friend reduced to a shell of her old self. She didn’t eat right, taking medication was something she struggled with ( She had been put on medication and asked to follow the timings strictly for the sake of her unborn child).. Her once happy home was filled with nothing but sadness. Her mum came and stayed with her for sometime, I quit my job (am a lawyer) to take care of her and Lenny during her pregnancy, that was after the second failed suicide attempt, finance was never an issue to me or her. Our once happy days were replaced by long moments of silence and sadness and tears, she cried herself to bed most nights and so did I.
THE day we found out about Ken’s secret, he didn’t come back home and even in the weeks that followed he didnt. After a lot of back and forth with him over the phone, I finally asked Leah to let him have the 1 meeting that he so desperately begged for.I was home with Leah when that meeting took place. She had a lot of questions for him but most importantly, she wanted to know where it was that she had failed as a woman and as a wife, the fool had no response for that. He confessed to having known his status and for having been secretly on ARVs, he said that he had had plans of letting her know eventually and that he had only been waiting for the right moment to do so. ( I had told him that I hadn’t revealed of his baby mama and child to Leah and asked him not to disclose that part coz as it was, she wasn’t taking the little that she knew very well) After all that, the shitombi had the nerves to ask for another chance( the nerves this fool had!!!) Leah asked him to take his things and never return to their home. She had had me pack every single thing that belonged to Ken including his toothbrushes in several suitcases. He left and from what I heard, he moved in with the Joyce girl.
Leah had a safe delivery and for a while she seemed ok and so I resumed working. We got her a nanny and her mum visited regularly but after about 4 months of delivering her baby girl, depression seemed to have kicked in again. The nanny told me that she still cried herself to sleep, she rarely ate and never took medication like she was supposed to. (She didn’t breastfeed her baby, she was born HIV negative btw) My BFF, lost significant weight and with that her strength too. She was in and out of hospital wards several times And I spent the cold nights by her bedside, speaking words of faith to her. On one such occasion, I left her ward in the morning to go get some breakfast in the hospital canteen, her mum was to come and relieve me in the afternoon so I could go for a change of clothing and freshen up, when I got back to her ward, her bedsheets had been pulled up all the way to her head, there was a doctor and 3 nurses in the room, they informed me of the terrible news, my BFF was no more 😭😭😭😭😭😭.
PART 16
After Leah’s funeral, I slipped into depression, coming to terms with her loss was the one thing I couldn’t bring myself to doing. (Ken never attended the funeral, he definitely would have been murdered had he tried to.)
Depression almost cost me my life but God sent me a wonderful companion (my husband) he helped me get through the tough times. We have a child of our own plus we live with Leah’s two kids, it took a lot of convincing to get Leah’s parents to allow me have her babies. Her daughter is a spitting image of Leah. Initially, Ken came to see them once in a while but with time those visits stopped. From what I heard, he broke up with Joyce and is currently living with another woman with whom they have twin boys. Our friends tell me that he hasn’t stopped his cheating ways and that his current wife seem to not mind. God only knows how many people he has infected so far.
Before my husband and I got married, we laid down some rules. No passwords on our phones, no cheating and should either of us ever feel tired of what we have in our marriage, the person is to let the other one know and the marriage to be dissolved before either party cheats on the other. My husband knows that the day that he’ll break his promise and cheat, I’ll leave the marriage completely. Do I trust my husband? Yes I do. Do I have his watsp messages hacked? yes I have and he doesn’t know coz there’s a seperate phone for it. In all this while, I thank God there’s never been anything to suggest he’s cheating but should that ever happen, believe me I’ll leave. I expect the much that I put in our marriage so no, those are things I’ll never compromise on.
PART 17
So to the married women here on chitchateastafricanmums, who know that their husbands are cheating on them and are still holding on to those toxic marriages, what you should know is that the slay queen or the mpango wa kando that your husband is sleeping around with, most probably has a partner, and that partner, most likely is cheating on her too, it’s a long line so you never know where the virus may come from. Most mwk know that the married men they sleep with will probably never leave their wives for them and so what they do is they try to keep a serious other relationship on the side.
I see women saying mara never touch your husband’s phone kama hutaki stress but my question is, would you rather not know of his cheating ways and in the end find yourself infected with a disease or would you rather know and cut your losses when you still can? For the women who keep forgiving their cheating spouses in the name of “all men cheat and it rains everywhere” or those who sight their children as their reason for staying, my question is, is having a man in your life or having the status ‘married much more important than having a long healthy life? Would you rather live longer leading a healthy life or have your life cut short because of a disease you didn’t go out looking for in the name of all men are the same?
WOMEN WAKE UP! BE AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR DAUGHTERS, so in future when they find themselves in such toxic relationships, they’ll have the courage to walk out simply because their mamas did so too. Raise your sons right, teach them to respect women.
AIDS is real! Remember that everyday. HIV is not a death sentence, there are people who have lived even much longer with the virus than regular healthy people, but it comes with a lot of work and commitment, daily medication, being able to accept the disease, stigmatisation in the community etc. Yes there are several ways through which the disease is transmitted and perhaps it is a lot easier for those who go looking for it by their promiscuous ways to accept it but what of those who don’t, the loyal faithful women who get it from their cheating partners or vice versa?
LADIES, be independent, tafuta kazi hata kama ni biashara kidogo ya kuuza makaa, in short have a source of income so that when all hell breaks lose, you have something to bounce on. Lay down rules, demand that your husbands live by them. The fact that a man keeps changing how he’s saved the number of a female colleague that you are against should send red flags to you and make you give him ultimatums. Yes, check those phones and do not sacrifice ya life for anyone who doesn’t take effort to do the same.
A cheating partner is selfish n doesn’t care about u. Coz if they really do they also value ya life and your kids lives. Let’s wake up ladies, let’s be vigilant.
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