Your Relationship Has A WAY Better Chance Of Succeeding
*If You try This, Your Relationship Has A WAY Better Chance Of Succeeding*
Relationships that have these things have a high emotional IQ.
When I first started dating my boyfriend (now fiancé), the chemistry was off the charts—but, because of how differently we communicated and handled our feelings, so was our propensity to get into explosive fights.
Luckily, with the help of a great couples therapist, we found ways to cater to one another’s emotional strengths and weaknesses, making us much closer, stronger, and more stable as a couple .
Differences in emotional intelligence may not be as glaring as other compatibility factors—you know, like politics, religion, lifestyle, and taste in Netflix shows—but your emotional IQ (or “EQ”) plays a key role in determining whether your relationship will succeed . If there’s a huge difference in how you and your S.O. process and react to emotions, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to break up, but it does mean you should spend some time figuring out how to relate better to one another and close that gap.
“The most important factor at play with the EQ of a couple is the way they interact and communicate with each other about their feelings, “When you multiply the number of possible emotions felt by each person, plus the situational factors, plus the stage of the relationship, plus the relationship history of each— by the number of people involved, that’s an immense number of possibilities that can complicate a dynamic.”
```I complied top suggestions for improving the EQ of your relationship, regardless of each of your individual EQs.```
*1.*Don’t Reject “Ugly” Feelings.*
Repressing or ignoring certain challenging emotions—like jealousy, sadness, or anger—is always unhealthy, but it can do serious damage in the context of a relationship.
“We all have a ‘shadow’ side that embodies our darker impulses and emotions,” “Having compatible shadows is critical for long-term relationships because many shadows you can’t live with. When my husband of 37 years and I were first together, our couples friends voiced concern about how much we fought—yet they’re the ones who are divorced now. You wouldn’t buy a house that you hadn’t checked out thoroughly—don’t stay in an intimate relationship without going deeper to learn about and work out your differences.”
In other words, the dark stuff’s going to come out sooner or later, so be smart and proactively address it.
*2* . *Talk About the Tough Stuff Early.*
It may not be the most romantic thing to do at the start of a relationship, but once things start getting serious, don’t be afraid to instigate conversations about difficult topics or feelings—the sooner, the better. This is particularly true with anger, Are you bothered by the way your S.O. still texts his or her ex? Do you hate how she or he hasn’t prioritized integrating you with their friends? Say it.
“Understanding the purpose of anger is important, as many people try to ignore or distance from it out of fear of upsetting the relationship,“Contained anger builds until it overflows like a pressure cooker. By that time, it’s difficult to clean things up. Instead, talk with each other from the beginning—while the biochemistry of infatuation is still strong—about the things that are irritating, or else they will get worse.”
*3. Be Aware of Your Tone.*
Whether you have a naturally high EQ or don’t naturally speak the language of emotions, the way you literally talk to your partner often has far-reaching implications. “The way we talk with each other is the greatest predictive factor in whether a relationship is likely to work out or not,“When a tone of contempt or disdain is used regularly, the odds of longevity in the relationship decrease fast.”
No matter what you’re actually saying to each other—and especially if you’re disagreeing or talking about a loaded topic—remember that your tone of voice often speaks volumes on its own. Taking a deep breath and responding to your S.O.’s words (even if they’re upsetting) with respect and calmness, rather than frustration and coldness, is a small gesture but goes a long way.
_Will finish it later_ 😜
Comment, share
Relationships that have these things have a high emotional IQ.
When I first started dating my boyfriend (now fiancé), the chemistry was off the charts—but, because of how differently we communicated and handled our feelings, so was our propensity to get into explosive fights.
Luckily, with the help of a great couples therapist, we found ways to cater to one another’s emotional strengths and weaknesses, making us much closer, stronger, and more stable as a couple .
Differences in emotional intelligence may not be as glaring as other compatibility factors—you know, like politics, religion, lifestyle, and taste in Netflix shows—but your emotional IQ (or “EQ”) plays a key role in determining whether your relationship will succeed . If there’s a huge difference in how you and your S.O. process and react to emotions, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to break up, but it does mean you should spend some time figuring out how to relate better to one another and close that gap.
“The most important factor at play with the EQ of a couple is the way they interact and communicate with each other about their feelings, “When you multiply the number of possible emotions felt by each person, plus the situational factors, plus the stage of the relationship, plus the relationship history of each— by the number of people involved, that’s an immense number of possibilities that can complicate a dynamic.”
```I complied top suggestions for improving the EQ of your relationship, regardless of each of your individual EQs.```
*1.*Don’t Reject “Ugly” Feelings.*
Repressing or ignoring certain challenging emotions—like jealousy, sadness, or anger—is always unhealthy, but it can do serious damage in the context of a relationship.
“We all have a ‘shadow’ side that embodies our darker impulses and emotions,” “Having compatible shadows is critical for long-term relationships because many shadows you can’t live with. When my husband of 37 years and I were first together, our couples friends voiced concern about how much we fought—yet they’re the ones who are divorced now. You wouldn’t buy a house that you hadn’t checked out thoroughly—don’t stay in an intimate relationship without going deeper to learn about and work out your differences.”
In other words, the dark stuff’s going to come out sooner or later, so be smart and proactively address it.
*2* . *Talk About the Tough Stuff Early.*
It may not be the most romantic thing to do at the start of a relationship, but once things start getting serious, don’t be afraid to instigate conversations about difficult topics or feelings—the sooner, the better. This is particularly true with anger, Are you bothered by the way your S.O. still texts his or her ex? Do you hate how she or he hasn’t prioritized integrating you with their friends? Say it.
“Understanding the purpose of anger is important, as many people try to ignore or distance from it out of fear of upsetting the relationship,“Contained anger builds until it overflows like a pressure cooker. By that time, it’s difficult to clean things up. Instead, talk with each other from the beginning—while the biochemistry of infatuation is still strong—about the things that are irritating, or else they will get worse.”
*3. Be Aware of Your Tone.*
Whether you have a naturally high EQ or don’t naturally speak the language of emotions, the way you literally talk to your partner often has far-reaching implications. “The way we talk with each other is the greatest predictive factor in whether a relationship is likely to work out or not,“When a tone of contempt or disdain is used regularly, the odds of longevity in the relationship decrease fast.”
No matter what you’re actually saying to each other—and especially if you’re disagreeing or talking about a loaded topic—remember that your tone of voice often speaks volumes on its own. Taking a deep breath and responding to your S.O.’s words (even if they’re upsetting) with respect and calmness, rather than frustration and coldness, is a small gesture but goes a long way.
_Will finish it later_ 😜
Comment, share
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